The ghost is back

I am going through this blog actually. To compile some of those interesting posting, which I plan for maybe my first book. Than I came across some of things which really relate to my life now. Things that happened, feeling I had few years ago. Like this one written in  October 16, 2009:-

Love is very funny...sometimes it is so predictable, sometimes its make your head spinning like a wheel...watever..people do need comes and goes, sometimes unexpectedly.....This is wat happened to me...suddenly it knocks on my door...."knock, knock"...."who's there?"...."love"....

I don't know how i feel.....wanted to cry, wanted to laugh....but it does make me a bit sad....this is the love which i was waiting, hoping for more then 15 years....when it doesn't work, i turned my back and walk away, i closed my heart...i carry on with life....create new history in my life...have a gud life....i am happy, no fear of getting hurt, no worries of left tears to be wiped anymore....but suddenly....he came back.....asking the same thing dat i asked him long time ago.....but then....things has changed, i have changed...i need sometimes to chew this....

I used to melt when i heard his voice, i used to jump with joy when i saw him...but now....listening to his voice or seeing his face doesn't give any effect anymore....i am as cold as ice....but i do pity him...cos i can see on his face the disappointment; this woman doesn't melt anymore, this woman doesn't jump with joy anymore......i saw the shocked on his face.....but i can just look at him and say "sorry dear....."

I hope he understand....if he really wants it to happen, he need to convince me more...not on his term, but on my terms.....

A year later October 10, 2010:-

The ghost is back, haunted & whispering sweet & beautiful words.... disturbing the peace of the mind & the calmness of the heart. Let it be / avoid it / run, run for your life??????

This actually, about the one person who meant a lot to me... who has been on & off  my life since so long ago... and today, he is the man I called my husband. 


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