Bila Allah Menduga

Hemmm....segala persiapan telah dilakukan, dewan sudah di tempah, makanan juga sudah dibuat pilihan...barang2 hantaran dalam proses pembikinan...everything almost ready in fact. Saturday 23rd Jan. 2010 shopping & rest.....after isyak we want to my x house, papa yana....to invite him to the occassion...instead of accepting the invitation with open heart, he was complaining how he was not included, muz parents never come & see him, as a father....really...i don't know wat to say....instead of saying anything, i sealed my lips.....just listen to his complaint....how hurt he felt, how yana has to convince him, this & that.....my god....i really feel like screaming....."all this years, wat have you done or have you contributed anything in raising lyana? You never care about her, never been there for her, even financially you don't contribute anything......now you are asking....we have been nice to you...come & invite you...." . But i didn't say anything....pity my little gal....trying hard to defend herself, me & her future-in-law......not that i don't want to help her...but i know no point of saying anything to him....he forgot how much he had hurt us, especially Lyana, how he used to disowned her daughter just because of RM50......never mind forget about it....

Than later, Sunday nite....my future besan called....not happy with my arrangement of the venue for the occasion....at that particular moment, i felt so small, my tears falling like rain while i was talking to her......i was sad & angry.....but for my dearest gal sake, i have to give in, accept it...

Yesterday....still thinking about the same thing.....i can allow myself to be sad, to be miserable, i can be angry....but wat good will it give me & lyana.....i want the occasion goes smoothly, i want my baby to be happy on dat day....it's her day.....she suppose to have a very happy memories.... suddenly i realised....Allah must have wanted something from me.....wat He wants me to feel....i realised, He is testing me, test my patient, my faith....without His test, where would i be....alhamdullillah.....after accepting it as a test....i feel better....