SELF ESTEEM - SELF LOVE

Low self-esteem is the best way I know of short changing yourself. You're stuck in this dark valley of self-denial. You deny you're good at anything. The biggest problem is that you deny so hard, that you can persuade yourself into depression and anxiety all too easily.

Low self-esteem can be drilled into a child when the parents either ignore him or her, or take no notice of their accomplishments, while criticizing them harshly for any mistakes they may make. The child feels that there's no point in trying, because even if they do well, nothing will ever come of it, therefore success is pointless.

It isn't just the parents who can develop this most unpleasant characteristic, of course. Parents are always an easy target and often unjustly so.

When I was a boy, one of the worst sins of all was conceit. This was why so often your accomplishments tended to be downplayed.

But self-esteem isn't conceit, neither is it self love. Neither is it arrogance nor vanity. The Scriptures tell us that pride and vanity are deadly sins, the apparent reason being that we can't love ourselves and God as well. If you're full of yourself, you leave no room for other people or things.

On the other end of the scale, if you're genuinely a talented artist, for example, and someone looks at one of your paintings. Let's say this person knows what they're talking about when it comes to art, and they say how good they think it is. You, with your complete lack of self-esteem, turn round and say; 'Well, that's kind of you, but it isn't much good really.'

It's not only an infuriating response, it's also insulting. In effect, you're telling this person that he or she doesn't have a clue what they're talking about!

"That's kind of you to say so. Yes, I'm pleased with the way it turned out," is perfectly acceptable. You aren't blowing your own trumpet, but you are acknowledging both your own talent, and the other person's knowledge.

Lack of self-esteem keeps us in this dark valley of Do Nothing. It can prevent us from doing things that others enjoy, and it can wreck our dreams and ambitions. So is self-esteem self love? No. Then what exactly is it? Here are 5 points that constitute self-esteem.

1. An honest understanding of what we're able to do.
2. An honest realization of our own values and abilities.
3. Being fully aware of both our strengths and weaknesses.
4. Fully understanding our limitations.
5. Not being overly concerned about what we may imagine others might think of us.

This last, I feel, is most important. Not only can fear of other people's opinions hold us back, but these opinions are usually unspoken. That's why I wrote imagine. Just look at how our imagination can keep us from attainment in so many other ways
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