BEING ALONE!!!! LONELY?????

"How's ur daughter?"
"Fine, she's getting married in Apr. next year?"
"Oh really, so she will be staying with u?"
"No, she will be on her own, better that way, so she will learn."
"Then u will be ALONE, it must be very LONELY then."

This conversation has been part of me lately whenever i meet old friends, new friends or just anybody. BE ALONE, LONELY..... why it has to be dat way, i don't understand.... Being alone doesn't mean that i will be lonely... even now, actually the pass few years, with my daughter around, most of the time i am alone.... lonely???? No, somehow, i don't feel that way anymore. But i have to admit that i used to be lonely maybe wat, then years ago... but those phase of my life has passed.

FEELING ALONE & LONELY just in our mind.... we choose to be lonely, it's our own fault if we feel that way. There are people who surrounded with friends & love ones but still feeling lonely. The are people who is standing in a crowd & feeling lonely.... i used to feel, having someone beside me, loving him with all my heart but instead, deep deep down i feel so lonely, so alone.

So conclusion..... being alone, doesn't mean that i will be lonely.... because it is all in my head, my mind.... i decided how i am going to live my life.... my baby girl is going to leave me, build her own life with her significant others, why should i let myself to feel lonely, i can fill-up my time, with prayers for her.... be a good wife, a good daughter in-law, later a good mother.

I control my mind, my life, my heart.... i can feel watever i wanted to feel... maybe once in a while i will decided...."yeah its time to be lonely...." than here i am, lonely as hell....

Most of all, i hate to see those faces when they say "so u will be alone & must really be lonely". Those symphatize look, i hate it actually.... why don't people look at the brighter side... things dat i don't have to worry anymore.... my baby gal will be taken care off.... but then as a mother, this is fulltime job... i will never stop worrying about her... but it will a bit relieve than to share it with her signicant others.

I am not scare to be living alone.... i believe Allah will take care of me... i remember a fren said "wat if sakit-pening..." This one thing beyond my control, but when the time comes, if i sakit-pening, insyaAllah, there will be someone send by Allah Taala to help me.... Cos i do remember, those years, during the time my baby gal still small & it was just the two of us... not once or twice we have been tested with difficulties in life... not once or twice, our house has been broken-in, not once or twice my car broke-down.... without Allah sending someone to lighten our burden, to help us.... Alhamdullillah.

So... there is nothing to be scared of BEING ALONE OR LONELY... there are so many things i can do with my life, with my thoughts and most of all, i accept this dengan penuh redha....this could be my destiny, the story of my life, that i will be alone till the end of my life & continue it when i am 6 feet under...... InsyaAllah... watever Allah plan for me, i just pray that it will much much better especially for the next life (akhirat).

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