"How's ur daughter?"
"Fine, she's getting married in Apr. next year?"
"Oh really, so she will be staying with u?"
"No, she will be on her own, better that way, so she will learn."
"Then u will be ALONE, it must be very LONELY then."

This conversation has been part of me lately whenever i meet old friends, new friends or just anybody. BE ALONE, LONELY..... why it has to be dat way, i don't understand.... Being alone doesn't mean that i will be lonely... even now, actually the pass few years, with my daughter around, most of the time i am alone.... lonely???? No, somehow, i don't feel that way anymore. But i have to admit that i used to be lonely maybe wat, then years ago... but those phase of my life has passed.

FEELING ALONE & LONELY just in our mind.... we choose to be lonely, it's our own fault if we feel that way. There are people who surrounded with friends & love ones but still feeling lonely. The are people who is standing in a crowd & feeling lonely.... i used to feel, having someone beside me, loving him with all my heart but instead, deep deep down i feel so lonely, so alone.

So conclusion..... being alone, doesn't mean that i will be lonely.... because it is all in my head, my mind.... i decided how i am going to live my life.... my baby girl is going to leave me, build her own life with her significant others, why should i let myself to feel lonely, i can fill-up my time, with prayers for her.... be a good wife, a good daughter in-law, later a good mother.

I control my mind, my life, my heart.... i can feel watever i wanted to feel... maybe once in a while i will decided...."yeah its time to be lonely...." than here i am, lonely as hell....

Most of all, i hate to see those faces when they say "so u will be alone & must really be lonely". Those symphatize look, i hate it actually.... why don't people look at the brighter side... things dat i don't have to worry anymore.... my baby gal will be taken care off.... but then as a mother, this is fulltime job... i will never stop worrying about her... but it will a bit relieve than to share it with her signicant others.

I am not scare to be living alone.... i believe Allah will take care of me... i remember a fren said "wat if sakit-pening..." This one thing beyond my control, but when the time comes, if i sakit-pening, insyaAllah, there will be someone send by Allah Taala to help me.... Cos i do remember, those years, during the time my baby gal still small & it was just the two of us... not once or twice we have been tested with difficulties in life... not once or twice, our house has been broken-in, not once or twice my car broke-down.... without Allah sending someone to lighten our burden, to help us.... Alhamdullillah.

So... there is nothing to be scared of BEING ALONE OR LONELY... there are so many things i can do with my life, with my thoughts and most of all, i accept this dengan penuh redha....this could be my destiny, the story of my life, that i will be alone till the end of my life & continue it when i am 6 feet under...... InsyaAllah... watever Allah plan for me, i just pray that it will much much better especially for the next life (akhirat).


Popular Posts