MY FEAR

A friend asked me today, why are u so afraid of marriage??? I don't know... i don't have the answer eventhough i love to see people getting married. Happy for them... but me..... when comes to me... it become so fearful... i do think about it once in a while.... would like to go thru it again.. but when someone appear.... my mind, my heart became haywire, scared & fearful.... 

Sometimes i do think, i've to find someone, get married, have a companion for old age... i do know the need of that...to have someone beside me, to share my fear, my happiness & most of all my life. But i just couldn't imagine me, getting married again. 

Maybe, being alone for half of my life ... the thought of sharing my life with someone else, changing my routine & sacrificing a lot of things, dat scares me... could be. Yeah, have been doing things my way, have been so independent.... i know it will be difficult for me to adept to a new kind of life... Or could it be, the failed marriage, that really give me this fear feeling of marriage. I don't know really.

But i do hope, if ever someone comes along, crossing my path, Allah will guide me, open my heart, to go thru dat again, to love again.....

For now, i just lead my life the way i know how & pray for the best.