CONFUSING

After dinner last nite, we sat quietly & suddenly *** said something & we had that talk. No, actually *** did all the talking, i just sat there & listen & cried quietly. It was the whole story, where it was begun, how it was ended. Our feelings for each other, where it went wrong for the first time and how to mend it to make it right. Things that we expect from each other, how to maintain & ensure everything goes well, and what we should do if things doesn't happen as what we expected or wanted it to be. So many things was said & i don't really know how to respond. My heart was so heavy, i've been thinking about it a lot lately... maybe because of the sem break, nothing much to do, so this particular thing has become my priority. 

It is so difficult actually, keep asking myself, "can i handle it or not"? Somehow part of me, said i can't handle it, i should just withdraw myself before it is too late & part of me, feel that i should go thru with it, than only i will know whether i can handle it or not. 

*** expect me to decide, to *** whatever i decided, i know it is not going to effect *** much. But *** wants to remain friends, which i know i can't do it... to me this time, if it is over it will over for good. I don't want to look back anymore..... i dare not ask Allah for it to happen, cos i am so scare if its really happen i can't handle it... so to HIM i give myself, to guide me to choose which path should i take. YES or NO.... only times will tell.