TRYING TO UNDERSTAND

Something bermain di dalam fikiran..... trying to understand..

Why did some people like to remind you of your past... which of course, if our past was not good, bitter, full of painful memories, we are trying to forget it, to bury it deep... but some people come asking you or telling you, WHY DID YOU DO THIS OR THAT LAST TIME? WHY DID YOU SAY THIS OR THAT LAST TIME???

I have been thinking about it... it's actually upset me so much, that i really had a nightmare.. it even make me cry.... of course that time, i was so young, i don't have enough knowledge... i just do things ikut perasaan, ikut hati... langsung x de ilmu kehidupan or memang ilmu keagamaan pun amatlah cetek. Even dari segi akademik, i only ada sijil SPM, tu pun cukup2 makan.... Whatever decision i made after my SPM, semuanya dari fikiran yang tidak matang, mengikut nafsu muda.... got married, divorced, had relationship.... semuanya try & error.... no proper guidance.... main hentam kromo je... rasa ok je, langgar.... x ok, undur or elak...

When a question like that came from someone who knows my background, i was really sad... i don't blame that person, but bringing up the past when i am struggling with my present & at the same time, i am learning to be a better muslim... i just couldn't swallow it. Maybe this a lesson i should learn.... ada yg tersirat disebalik yang tersurat.

Whatever it is, maybe Allah is trying to send me a message... seek only Him.... ask for guidance only from Him....