This Time

This time she did not cry anymore. This time around she is more in control. She only shed tears on the prayer's mat. She don't even talk to anyone this time. She only seek His guidance and only talk to Him. She is really surprise, she never thought that she has the strength to face this difficult period all by herself. She knows, Allah has given her all the strength that she need. Allah is guiding her through this. 

Sometimes, yes she feel like crying like before, allowing herself to get lost in the midst of the whole situation, letting herself to go beyond control. But, but.... something will stop her from doing that. A silent whispers on her ear will not allow her to go there again, the place where she used to lose her soul, a place where a part of her used to be dead. A very dark place where she was trapped for a very long time.

This situation now taken her by surprise. She is strong, she is patient. She is not angry anymore.... yes, sadness does come and go. Yes, her heart is breaking... but she is accepting it now. She believe that Allah is preparing something better for her. She believe that something good is coming her way.... That is what Allah has promised every soul.... that after sadness there will be happiness. She will be waiting. Things might change. Her life might change. She might not have what she wants, but Allah will give her what she need. Allah knows best.

So, she just sitting there, trust Allah with her life, there is nothing much she can do... The current situation is beyond her control. She can only pray, pray and pray and strengthen her faith, that soon, soon the sun will rise again, that the rain will stop, that the cloud will slowly disappear. That everything happen for a reason, and the reason only Allah knows.