Crazy thoughts

Have you ever asked yourself, why my life like this, not like that.... I used to ponder around these kind of questions, wondering why.... questions like:-

1) Why i didn't study really hard & get good result during my SPM & goes to university just after form 5?

2) Why did i got married so early to my x & not someone else who used to woo me at that time?

These two questions, i used to asked myself, because that particular moment, was the beginning of my life....

For the two questions, i combine the answers myself.... somehow these two are related definitely and these two leads to where i am today...

If i study hard & get good result during my SPM, after SPM i might being studying overseas (my aim at that time to study in NZ). Than, i will not meet my x and i will not have my dearest beautiful daughter, i will not have my two beautiful grandson. And i will not meet my dearest husband.... (this could spare all the heartache for so many year, waiting for him...huhuhu). I might not be who i am today.

Yes, i might married to mat saleh, coloured my hair blonde, wearing blue contact lens, so i will look like minah saleh too... 

Haha crazy thought..... alhamdullillah.... those painful years, thought me a lot about life.... the journey from there to here was difficult, full of thorns everywhere, on a long winding road.... not easy, but that is what destined by Allah SWT, He is teaching me, His tarbiah.... for me to be better.... for me to appreciate every single moments of my life.... There was something to learn, those experience was really a good experience. Bitter but sweet.