BEFORE HER TIME

She loves the smell of the rain after a hot weather.... the sound of it soothe her.... she loves it.... From her living room, she could see the raindrops heavily. Her mind wander, what if today is her last day on earth? She's not scare of the death.... but there are still a lot of things she feels she need to do.... She has been thinking about it lately... about people she used to hurt & don't know how to make amend to it... she can apologize to them... she knew she can.... but deep down, she feels apologizing & cutting off them from her life is not the right thing.... Her intention is not to have anymore crisis, arguments..or quarrel... she just wanted to have peace... 

She questioned herself, is it ok if she do that... for the sake of everyone.... to maintain the harmony between them... apologize and leave it there.... She did apologize few times... trying to ensure the relationship ok... but somehow, something trigger, something happened & hearts been hurt, bad words uttered... angered followed... it take years.... She doesn't want that to happen again... but she knows she have to apologize... & then what.... 

She is confused.... she wants to leave this world with redha Allah.... She even asked her husband last nite... is there anything that her husband does not redha with her.... she doesn't want to leave with people angry with her, hated her... especially those with close knit... 

Suddenly her head aching.... this is big... this is something need to be sorted out before her time comes. Before the Almighty invited her.... this cannot wait, because she doesn't know when is her turn... in her heart, she pray that Allah would give her time, give her the strength & guide her what to do..... 

The rain stop... the sun is shining again.... 

She need coffee, yes coffee.