Hikmah Poligami

"Alhamdullillah, poligami ini, menjadi isteri ke 3, menemukan c.cah dengan sesuatu yang amat berharga, selama ini meraba-raba dlm kegelapan mencari cinta yang abadi... selepas berpoligami, c.cah bukan sahaja mendapat cinta seorang suami, tapi juga mendapat cinta yang abadi, bukan mendapat tempat pergantungan yang sementara ini... tapi juga menemui tempat pergantungan yang abadi... Alhamdullillah... hikmah berpoligami, tiada siapa yang tahu... yang orang nampak hanya keburukan.... semua orang yg tidak menyukai poligami tidak melihat, bahawa sudah pasti ada kebaikannya sebab itu Allah menghalalkannya. "

I was reading my niece post on the above topic, than i commented on her post as above... it was spontaneous reply.... it came from the deepest down of my heart.

Yes, it was the truth.... 25 years being divorced, staying alone (with my daughter till she got married)..... it was 25 long years of don't know what.... doing things whatever i feel right... not doing the right thing.... live with flow... if it was smooth flow, ok.... if it wasn't smooth than, i will question "why???"

It was a life with no direction.... if i live, ok i am living... if i die... so what everyone will die.... that was my life before.

Than the marriage proposal came from the love of my life... the man i love for more than 23 years.... before i decided to accept his proposal, of cos, my mind was like a whirlwind.... one time feeling like saying yes, another day don't want to go thru with it.... i didn't ask anyone opinions not even my closest friends... why, because i don't want anyone to influence me with my decision.... but i did istikharah, the only one who knows everything, now & later... i seeked Him, every nite and day... really i did istikharah not just 1/3 of the nite, but also during the day..... 

Finally, i decided YES.... it was quite difficult initially, a lot of tears... it was not easy to adopt myself to the new situation... of cos i dream beautiful marriage... because initially i was excited, finally i married the man i love for half of my life.... it was like a fairy tale & really this thought gotten into my head.... 

But one thing..... the marriage changed me, my life...during those difficult times, i searched for something permanent, something that could help me to face those trials, i cried for help... i searched & searched, i prayed & prayed a lot.... i was drown but i still looked for something/someone to save me from totally sink... and i found it, i was saved from sinking, from drowning....  i have a new purpose in life... i am not only found the man i love finally, but i found Allah... not only i have a man to hold in my heart.... but i have Allah in my heart.... now, i have direction.... this marriage is a bonus.... & have lead me to a better understanding about life and Allah.... 

It is actually very difficult for me to describe with words, but i believe those who have gone thru the same... i mean, feel Allah in their heart after going thru hardship would understand what i am trying to say..... 

Alhamdullillah. Thank you Allah......